From a lover to a friend
by Prue Halliwell Snape
Summary: MILD SLASH Song fic for a Paul McCartney song. Remus Lupin talks to his dead Sirius in a silent pray. Ruminations must likely R&R please


**_And when the time comes round  
  
We will be duty bound  
  
To tell the truth of what we've seen  
_**  
What was I blind? I knew it from the beggining . It was you. It's you. I just didn't happen to realize .  
  
We were always protecting each other, you were always getting yourself into trouble, since school. Making stupid pranks for the fun of it , detentions, experimenting new things. I was always the one bound to keep the feet on the ground. Always had to pull you back when you were toeing the line.  
  
You were young, handsome, full of life, hungry, hungry of love, hungry of life, hungry of loyalty, hungry of truth.  
  
**_And what we haven't found  
  
Will not be going down  
  
Despite too easy ride to see  
_**  
But then I was ashamed of myself, couldn't bear my face in the mirror, afraid of you finding out the truth. And you came and saved me. I know you were the first one to know who -to know what- I am.   
  
But you didn't care, you came to me one night and said "I know who you are"   
  
I remember I tried to run and you, for the only time, used your wand against me, you then hugged me and whispered "I don't care"  
  
"I'm a beast, and you know it" I said allmost sobbing  
  
Then you placed your hand on my chest and said "this is what defines you, not what the moon does to you once a month. This is who you are, and you are not a monster."  
  
It made me feel better. I remember a particularly lousy full moon near the OWLS when in the middle of my transformation I saw two beautiful eyes in the tunnel, and the first thing I saw next was the most beatiful dog ever. Big , black and furry, wagging its tail at me.  
  
**_From a lover to a friend  
  
Take your own advice  
  
Let me love again  
  
Now that you turned out to be  
  
Someone I can trust  
  
Someone I believe  
_**  
You were young, handsome, hungry of life, hungry of love, hungry of loyalty, hungry of truth. But you always gave that and more. Oh yes, you did. And I forgot.  
  
It wasn't intended. Your hunger of life made you act.... peculiar some times. Not to mention your hunger of life , honor and truth. It all fitted the profile.  
  
Always being spontaneous, loyal to your own principles . You were free, and I admired that in you. I still do. I never was able to be that free, always felt segregated, and so I forced myself to become what I thought was best: a lonely creature  
  
**_Ohh la la la  
  
How can I walk when I can't find a way  
  
I have a dilemma  
  
All I want is to tell me  
  
You're going to take it away  
  
_**But at the end of all days, when the moon was a bitch, when I came out of school and couldn't find a job, when my parents died, there was a constant in my life: You telling me how to move on, guidding me into some sort of peace and freedom   
  
And now there's no you, for the second time in my life I lost you. Once again Sirius Black had to act in the heat of the moment. Never thought I would say this but, Couldn't you listen to Snape when he requested you to stay safe? NO you did what you had to. I know, but you didn't think of me, of how lost am I .  
  
**_From a lover to a friend  
  
Take your own advice  
  
Let me love again  
  
Now that you turned out to be  
  
Someone I can trust  
  
Someone I believe  
_**  
If only I knew how to work this out, but not even when you went to jail I knew how to survive without you. At least I had the knodlege that you were alive. And of course the slightly strange mental aid of thinking you deserved it.  
  
Tried to trick my mind into it, but failed. And it hurted me big time. You have no idea what a relief it was to find out you were innocent, as I always knew deep in my heart. You holded me and I was born again.  
  
**_And what we haven't found  
  
Will not be going down  
  
Despite too easy ride to see  
_**  
But I wasn't ready to let you go that soon. I spent a whole year sleeping with my window open, you know how much I hate to do that, but I needed it, I was hoping one day you would come and stay beside me.  
  
And you did. One starry night you came and took me away. I was in your ams , I was save  
  
**_From a lover to a friend  
  
You turned out to be  
  
Someone I believe  
_**  
In all my life I've known all kind of people. Careless, prejudice, clever persons who hurted me when I thought they were helping me .  
  
But you were the only one I've met so beautifully hungry of life , and freedom. You were born free, you belonged to calico skies. You were authentic, unique. And when my world was falling appart. I knew that you were the only survivor, even if I didn't make it. and I know now that you will survive me, doesn't matter that you're gone.  
  
**_From a lover to a friend  
  
Take your own advice  
  
Let me love again  
_**  
Because you're in peace now, free to do whatever you want, no longer trapped in your all parents' house, which I knew you hated. You can go wherever you want and watch us. You're a guardian angel now, hopefully mine.  
  
I still hear your whisper in my dreams, the number of times you taught me about freedom and loyalty. Damn it, I wish you were telling it to me now. At least I would like to do it  
  
Ohh la la la  
  
**_How can I walk when I can't find a way  
  
I have a dilemma  
  
All I want is to tell me  
  
You're going to take it away  
_**  
Now you're free from this hell, and I'm the one trapped. Stuck in your parent's house, segregated for being a werewolf. But without you to tell me that is my heart what defines me, without you to hold me and comfort me. Without you, or anyone else.   
  
I can't open myself to anyone, because I think I would be betraying you, and I don't want to betray you, you hated that, you were so loyal. You are loyal and so am I. But I'm also despered and alone. Need company, need you, but you're not here and it's selfish not to let you go, so please.  
  
I'm on my knees confesing what you know, that the love of my life it's you. And I want you to be well, I know you are. But I'm desespered, stuck in here, all alone when I don't know how. I beg you  
  
_**From a lover to a friend  
  
From a lover to a friend  
  
From a lover to a friend  
  
Let me love again**_


End file.
